he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
