I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize