it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
