i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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