I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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