no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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