i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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