She's JV to your varsity
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
