She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
