do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
