I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Randomize
