im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm too high and old for this...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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