**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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