you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
