The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
