my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
