oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
