Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
