shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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