He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize