I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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