his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
