mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
