wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
