I hate your face
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
