you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
