She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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