She said her name was "party"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
