apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
