just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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