I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
