am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
