she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
