Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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