Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
