I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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