Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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