I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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