as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize