i already hear my dad disowning me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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