now i know why i became what i already was.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
