They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
