I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im just a social blackout drinker.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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