i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
