Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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