PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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