I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
