he thought i was a dude.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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