Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
