Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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