i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Mom said you looked used
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
