i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
