i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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