Soap is not a condiment
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
