where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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