You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
