her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
