U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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