I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
