I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
