I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
