When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
