It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
