lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I look better un-naked...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
