Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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