i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
